The Ninth Commandment

Yesterday, I happened to find myself witness to several high school guys browsing Facebook and commenting on the various posts and people they were scanning. Their conversation turned very ugly and cruel as it gleefully focused on a certain girl and her supposed, let's say, unconventional, intimate actions. Of course, none of these boys were witness to anything they were insisting was "an absolute fact". I tried to explain to them that such suppositions, and spreading them, were wrong and cruel - even if true. I also told them that I have seen peoples' lives severely damaged by such. I don't think I convinced them. Perhaps growing up will bring them around. Then again, I regularly see 'grown-ups' do precisely the same thing.


Perhaps the thoughts below will help a few people reconsider and modify such behavior:


In the Judeo-Christian ethical/moral/legal tradition, the Ninth Commandment tells us that we "Shall not bear false witness". This concept is pretty much held as a universal and important value in the world, including by most secular ethical/legal systems and most non-believers. Indeed, penalties for perjury in the US legal system are severe, and hearsay, that is, testimony talking the form of 'person-A told me person-B did X', is inadmissible in US courts and most worldwide.


Most people understand "bearing false witness" simply as lying, but it goes further than that. It also applies to saying things about people that are not verifiably known to be true, also known as GOSSIP. 


Time after time, I have read and heard things about friends of mine and myself that I know to be completely FALSE. I've also read and heard things about people I barely know or don't know that seem to have the same 'stink' about them. These things are presented in spirit ranging from innocent to humorous to speculative to outright vindictive and malicious, but the innocent, humorous, and speculative can end up being every bit as damaging as the intentionally vindictive and malicious, and damaging these things indeed have been. 


Of course, these things are almost NEVER uttered in the presence of the person who is the subject of the gossip, which compounds the transgression with cowardice. 


These bits of gossip take many forms: 'x is [verb]ing [noun]'; 'x is [verb]ing y'; 'x is a [noun]'; etc. I know that some of the things I've heard are absolutely false, that other have precisely no proof, so it follows that many other things I hear or read are similarly without basis. 


Sometimes, these things take on the form of 'campaigns', in which a person has some axe to grind or a grudge, and repeatedly lashes out at some real or imagined 'enemy'. 


Sometimes such behavior takes the form of lacing what could be construed as legitimate gripes with wild and copious accusations of conspiracies and outright false and bizarre accusations of crimes and "moral" offenses. Such a person might define his/her beliefs very narrowly, then considers any disagreement a personal as well as ideological affront, and as such collects self-identified enemies as both 'badges of honor' and confirmations of supposed 'persecutions'. Of course, in these cases, perhaps a bit of understanding is in order, since these could easily be manifestations of severe neurosis or other mental illness. 


But for the most part, we can all take care NOT to gossip:


Is what you're about to say or write verifiably true, and by verifiably, I mean not just because someone else said so? If not, do not say it, write it, or repeat it. 


If what you're about to say or write is verifiably true, does it serve any positive purpose to bring it to light? If not, don't say it or write it. If you feel you must say or write it, at least go to the person or persons involved PRIVATELY and try to work it out PRIVATELY before you make it public fodder that could damage someone. And if you do want to damage someone, maybe you'd be better off getting psychological help or consulting a lawyer on defending against a slander lawsuit. 


And remember, just because you don't think you have malicious intentions in saying or writing something, it doesn' mean that it won't have that effect. Indeed, it often does. And things you think think are said in confidence have a way of getting out and around, including to people you would not want to learn of these things. 


Think about it.